Goodbye 2011

Being back at my parents for Christmas was brilliant. I had a fantastic collection of presents, that suited me to a T, but it was whilst washing decades of dirt off the old Lego on Christmas Day, I thought I'd look back and reflect on my 2011.

If you had asked for my opinion on 2011 six months ago, I would have told you that it was my worst year ever. At the bottom of a big pit of doom and gloom I didnt think my year would get any better, and thought that nothing else worse would have any effect on me. I'd become used to having a rubbish time, what difference would another ounce of crap have on me.

Ask me now what 2011 means to me, and I'll confidently tell you that it was the year that I found out who I really was, and it's probably the best year I've ever had. That sounds quite morbid, but I mean that its been the best year for making decisions and learning lessons. Its been difficult but extremely valuable.

May 2011 saw the messy end of a 7 year relationship. I made the difficult decision to hand in my notice and begin the process of moving up to Sheffield.

June 2011 saw me packing those 7 years into the back of a transit van. Saying goodbye to my job, my friends, the family I had been accepted into, and my cat; I cant say anything was worse than that. Driving away from my life I had created was punishment that I didnt deserve. But being typically British, and with my Land Girl spirit, I kept calm and carried on.

July 2011 saw me getting a new job and making new friends. Unfortunately my old life continued to return to haunt me, prolonging the grieving process.

August through to October was really just a blur, all sorts of nonsense bouncing around, trying to settle into a new way of life, trying to get to grips with reality and make sense of everything. On the flip side, I was taken under the wing of so many wonderful people, and made to feel extremely welcome and appreciated, and accepted for being myself. I started to feel a sense of purpose, and finally I had the chance to be me again.

October 2011 I found a lifeline. Something to keep me busy, to give me focus, and that has opened doors to a whole new chapter in my life . . . Roller Derby. Sunday 9th October 2011 was the the final home bout of the year for Sheffield Steel Rollergirls and it was the turning point in my life when I decided I needed make a difference. It was at that point I made the executive decision to stop trying to fill the 'relationship' gap, and do something productive instead.

Despite being told there weren't any spaces available to join SSRG, the following week I took my skates to the local skate rink and, as they say, the rest is history. No, seriously, you can read all about it in my previous blogs :-) The past 3 months have gone by in a whirl of wheels, disco lights, pasta,  Chesterfield Twisted Roller Vixens, progression, and making new friends every week. With the help of my family, friends and new team mates, the end of 2011 has taken a sweet turn, and has provided me a taster for what 2012 has to offer.

Today is the final day of 2011, and I have decided that 2012 is going to be MY year. I, like so many others, have dreams and ambitions . . . the difference is that I intend on making mine reality. Despite wanting to do and learn other things, my one main aim for 2012 is to pass my Minimum Skills for roller derby, anything beyond that I will see as a bonus. This year I have learnt just how important it is to be in control of your own life and happiness. If I hadn't been brave and made the life changing decisions I made this year, I would definitely not be in a happy place right now.

So now I'm going to sad tata 2011, what a rollercoaster! Oh and 2012, you'd better watch out, because the real Becky Kirby is back in the game. Time to enjoy the balls off the next 365 days!